[Spammer Rules]

The Rules Of spam

Rule #0: spam is theft. :angry:

• Angel's Commentary: Spammers believe it's okay to steal a little bit from each person on the Internet at once.
  

Rule #1: Spammers lie.

• Russel's Admonition: Always assume that there is a measurable chance that the entity you are dealing with is a spammer.
  

• Lexical Contradiction: Spammers will redefine any term in order to disguise their abuse of Internet resources.
  

• Sharp's Corollary: Spammers attempt to re-define "spamming" as that which they do not do.
  

• Finnell's Corollary: Spammers define "remove" as "validate."
  

Rule #2: If a spammer seems to be telling the truth, see Rule #1.

• Crissman's Corollary: A spammer, when caught, blames his victims.
  

• Moore's Corollary: Spammer's lies are seldom questioned by mainstream media.
  

Rule #3: Spammers are stupid.

• Krueger's Corollary: Spammer lies are really stupid.
  

• Pickett's Commentary: Spammer lies are boring.
  

• Russell's Corollary: Never underestimate the stupidity of spammers.
  

• Spinosa's Corollary: Spammers assume everybody is more stupid than themselves.
  

• Spammer's Standard of Discourse: Threats and intimidation trump facts and logic.
  

• James' Axioms of Spammers' Beliefs:
  • Bandwidth is infinite. It possible for infinite messages to occupy the same box at the same time.
    
  • The less value a message has, the more people want to see it.
    
  • The more someone is offended, the more likely they are to buy.
    
  • Reward is inversely proportional to the work done to earn it.
    

Rule #4: The natural course of a spamming business is to go bankrupt.

• Rules-Keeper Shaffer's Refrain: Spammers routinely prove the Rules of spam are valid.