Elaborate Nigerian Scam

[dra007]

This was so funny I thought it would be worthwhile posting in in its entirety...I wonder if there really is a Captain Woods:

"Hello,

I have a confidential business proposal for you. Before proceeding, let me introduce myself to you.

I am Captain Williams Woods with the United Nations troop in Iraq, on war against terrorism. Based on the United States legislative and executive decision for withdrawing troops from Iraq this year, I have been deployed to come and work in your country's military base soonest. Our mission is to help beef up terrorist targeted states, mostly the United States and the European Union on the war against terrorism. I believe you will maintain the trust and confidence of what i am about to reveal to you.

I have in my possession the sum of USD16.2million which was recovered from one of our raids on terrorists here in Iraq because they keep most of their money at home for evil activities which they normally get through illegal deals on crude oil and arm dealing. Based on the suffering we undergo here some of us do meet such luck. It happened that I went for this raid with the men in my unit and I decided to take it as my share for my stress here in this evil land filled with suicide bombers. I deposited this money with a RED CROSS Agent informing him that we are making contact for the real owner of the money. It is under my power to approve whoever comes forth for this money. I wish to use this money for charity purposes in Turkey, where we have about 3 million Iraqi refugees and Sudan where we have currently the highest numbers of refugees displaced as a result of war. You need to visit such places.

I want to invest the money on stock fish from Norway to this refugees because base on my experience on battle ground in this places, they lack a lot of fish and meat to add to their meager and unpalatable meals which they get in little quantity just to keep them living until God knows when the problem ends. Instead of allowing these terrorists to get the money and spend it on purchasing arms illegally from Russia and North Korea it is better channeled to saving the world. I cannot move this money to the United States because I will be in Europe for about 3years, so I need someone I could deal with on trust and that is why i contacted you. If you accept, I will put you forward as the beneficiary of the funds and transfer the money to you in Europe because as a uniformed person and I cannot be parading such an amount so I need to present someone as the beneficiary.

I am an American and an intelligence officer and I have a 100% authentic means of transferring the money through diplomatic courier service .I just need your acceptance and all is done. I have the logistics for that so you have nothing to worry. Please if you are interested in this transaction then I will give to you the complete details you need for us to carry out this transaction successfully as all you need is to follow my instructions and directives. I decided to find someone that is real who i can trust and that is why I went to a secured car site where I can be sure that the person is real.

I believe I can trust you. Where we are now we can only communicate through our military communication facilities which are secured so nobody can monitor our emails, then I can explain in details to you. I will only be able reach you through email, because our calls might be monitored, I just have to be sure whom I am dealing with. If you are interested, then let me know so we can proceed as time is very important to me. If no response from you after 3 days, then i will look for someone else. I am doing this on trust, you should understand that as a trained military expert I will always play safe in case you are the bad type, but I pray you are not. This money is my life and i am willing to give you 30% of the total sum when the money arrives under your custody.

I wait for your response so we can proceed immediately. In less than 10days the money should be in your safe custody, and then i will come over to meet when we are out of the military base.

Do get back to me with this information;

1. Your full name

2. Your contact addresses

3. Your phone number directly

Regards,

Captain Williams Woods

"

[rconner]

This was so funny I thought it would be worthwhile posting in in its entirety...I wonder if there really is a Captain Woods:

Obviously he is from the school that believes that the longer a message is, and the more full of stupid and irrelevant details, the more likely it will be to work as a scam pitch.

Or, maybe it is some sort of bizarre Chinese Menu game, where the guy drew 2 cards ("U.S. Troops in Iraq" and "Norwegian fish") and had to use both in the same story.

-- rick

[Miss Betsy]

It doesn't seem as peculiar if you have been getting the ones from the widow who thinks you are just the person to distribute her money to charity. Someone must have clued them in that some people will do anything for charity- there is no greed involved - just a desire to help others.

I will bet there really is a Capt Woods - maybe not a Williams Woods, but that's not at all certain - most would be William, but there might be a Williams. I bet my boyfriend back in college that my name would not be in the Washington DC area phone book and lost the bet.

There is a Capt Williams Woods on the monticello.org website! And Captain Woods was the pilot of the first civilian airplane shot down by..

Miss Betsy

[Lking]

I have in my possession the sum of USD16.2million which was recovered from one of our raids on terrorists here in Iraq...

I have received a smattering of these "I am an American and an intelligence officer" the last couple of years, but the charity bit is a new twist.

Rick, I like the 'Chinese Menu game' idea. That has possibilities for a creative writing class.

[dra007]

The Chinese rotating table is a cheap take on Russian roullete, no? Yes I had to laugh how creative this people are just hoping someone would fall for such twisted stories...I am always imagining someone typing these things in an African internet cafe while smoking some mind altering concoctions...

[rconner]

The Chinese rotating table is a cheap take on Russian roullete, no?

Nothing so sinister, I think. Here in the U.S., neighborhood-style Chinese restaurants often let you make up a meal by picking your soup, your appetizer, your entree -- in the famous words, "one from column A, one from column B ..."

Yes I had to laugh how creative this people are just hoping someone would fall for such twisted stories...I am always imagining someone typing these things in an African internet cafe while smoking some mind altering concoctions...

Someday, some grad student is going to make a thesis studying these things as a perverted form of poetry, much like Jazz, Tango, etc. are now revered art forms that had their origins in dives and bordelloes.

-- rick

[dra007]

It is beyond me why these people think the more elaborate the scams the more likely you'd fall for it, but this is one that gave me a good laugh and so I thought I'd reproduce it here:

[quote]Switzerland (For General Adm)
UN Global Fund Support
United Nations Office at Geneva
Palais des Nations
Avenue de la Paix 8 - 14
1211 Geneva 10, Switzerland
Tel/Fax: +41229170123
Email: ungfs.williams[at]yahoo.com.hk 


The Beneficiary UNGSF Grand Award,

In submission to unearth a lasting solution to cushion of the Global Financial Crisis depressing and looming global financial investment and closure of some multinational companies and cooperation in most super countries of the world, the United Nations Organization Global Fund Support (UNGFS) did establish this contact to inform you if within your interest that you have been selected to benefit from this funding as a means to redress the looming problem facing world economy, which involves provision of fund to some selected individual among the 185 countries randomly, grant of loans to poor countries and provision of fund for developmental infrastructure to selected countries. 

However, UN Global Funding has helped people become more self reliant and better able to determine their financial futures through contributions of our people, expertise and capital. In 2008, UN Global Funding provided more than U.S. $3 Billion in grants to selected individuals, charitable organizations, through its branch offices and subsidiaries in other to eradicate poverty and empower people financially. Therefore, to facilitate the authentication of your nomination to benefit from this fund, you are to provide the following information to our administrative team for processing of your grant; 


Real Names not Nick Names:
First Name:
Surname:
Other Name:
Original Contact Address:
State of Origin:
City:
Occupation:
Cell Phone:
Email: 

Nevertheless, The UN Global Fund Support (UNGFS) will only attend to you on a legitimate deal where all contact/communication will be based on proof of your personality and otherwise as documented and listed on the beneficiary list and other concerned office both in New York United States, Geneva Switzerland and UK London, where this transaction originated, as there are many identification theft, impersonation and wide spread scam going on in the internet, as such the UN Global Fund Support will not be associate with person who engage in such deal. 

Our charitable giving targets innovative and effective programs for children and youth that provide direct services, have potential for broad impact, and offer significant volunteer opportunities for poor and the needy around the world. 

MR KEN WILLIAMS
Chief Operation Officer, 
UNGFS, Geneva. Switzerland
Email: ungfs.williams[at]yahoo.com.hk 


Permission is granted to reproduce or cite portions herein, if proper attribution is given to the UN Global Fund Support.External links to other Internet sites should not be construed as an endorsement of the views or privacy policies contained therein.This Site is designed and maintained by the Web Team of the UN Global Fund Support ©2009. All rights reserved. 

 [/quote]

funny that Ken in Geneva actually has an e-mail pointing to Hong Kong!

[dra007]

what will they think of next? you have to laugh at this one:

BRITISH HIGH COMMISSION

Metro Plaza, Plot 991/992

Zakari Maimalari Street

Cadastral Zone AO,

Central Business District, Abuja.

Attention:

The BRITISH High Commission in Nigeria, Benin Republic,Ghana and Burkinafaso received a report of scam against you and other British/US citizens and Malaysia,Etc. The countries of Nigeria, Benin Republic, Burkinafaso And Ghana have recompensed you following the meeting held with the Four countries' Government and various countries' high commission for the fraudulent activities carried out by the Four countries' Citizens.

Your name was among those scammed as listed by the Nigeria Financial Intelligent Unit (NFIU). A compensation has been issued out in Certified Bank Drafts to all the affected victims and has been already been in distribution to all the bearers. Your draft was among those that was reported undelivered as at on Friday and we wish to advise you to see to the instructions of the Committee to make sure you receive your draft immediately.

According to the number of applicants at hand, 184 Beneficiaries has been paid, half of the victims are from the United States,we still have more 37 left to be paid the compensations of $2,500,000.00 USD each.

Your particulars was mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as one of their victims of the operations,you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason whatsoever as the U.S. secret service is already on trace of

the other criminals.

So keep it secret till they are all apprehended.Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration.

NFIU further told us that the use of Nigeria and Ghana Couriers was abolished due to interception activities noticed in the above mentioned courier services in Benin,Nigeria and Ghana and thereby have made a concrete arrangement with the DHL Courier Company for a safe delivery to your door-step once the beneficiary meets up the demand of the conveyance.

We advise that you do the needful to make sure the NFIU dispatches your Draft on Friday.

You are assured of the safety of your draft and availability. Be advised that you should stop further contacts with all the fake lawyers and security companies who in collaboration scammed you. Get back to me immediately to check if the delivery date suits you.

Yours in Service,

Mr. John Simmons

[rconner]

what will they think of next? you have to laugh at this one:

I just got a letter from the F.B.I. informing me that they confirmed that I had won an $800,000 prize. I didn't know that the F.B.I. was normally in this business.

-- rick

[Farelf]

...I didn't know that the F.B.I. was normally in this business.

Only when they tell you to drop by to collect the prize in person ...

[rconner]

Only when they tell you to drop by to collect the prize in person ...

In that case, I'd better pack a toothbrush, eh?

-- rick

[Farelf]

In that case, I'd better pack a toothbrush, eh?

Yep - and Sheik Kambir Abdul Rahman (FBI Stings) is the one to particularly avoid, evidently. Seems many are amazed at the FBI's lines of business these days. Ah well, the world applauds their audacity, I'm sure.

[Devilwolf]

I see our Nigerians friends are moving up to bigger things like terrorism... Maybe now the DoJ will take this more seriously...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091226/ap_on_...airliner_attack

A prominent Nigerian banker said Saturday he feared his son was the man authorities say tried to blow up a plane as it prepared to land in Detroit before nearby passengers — who saw a glow and heard what sounded like firecrackers — tackled him.

prominent Nigerian banker???? This is not Switzerland... That is like calling a mafia crime lord a "respected businessman".

[Farelf]

...prominent Nigerian banker???? This is not Switzerland... That is like calling a mafia crime lord a "respected businessman".

Now, now DW, there are honest Nigerians - especially in regulated industries like banking (and when 419s claim to involve a Nigerian bank most of us would be crying "Rule 1").

And as far as this particular Nigerian terrorist is concerned, he was already on the U.S. watch list - the problem is there are so many people on the U.S. watch list (and there are demonstrated inaccuracies on it which the U.S. authorities are reluctant/very slow to rectify) that foreign airlines have been less than co-operative in vetting passengers against the list. The nationals from most countries require a pre-approved visa to enter the U.S. (?? I think) - foreign airlines should certainly be obliged to check entry visa status and validity though that is only a partial protection.

[agsteele]

And as far as this particular Nigerian terrorist is concerned, he was already on the U.S. watch list - the problem is there are so many people on the U.S. watch list (and there are demonstrated inaccuracies on it which the U.S. authorities are reluctant/very slow to rectify) that foreign airlines have been less than co-operative in vetting passengers against the list. The nationals from most countries require a pre-approved visa to enter the U.S. (?? I think) - foreign airlines should certainly be obliged to check entry visa status and validity though that is only a partial protection.

As a regular traveller through Amsterdam I know that the Dutch authorities do all these checks and this guy was flying with a US airline. Indeed, now, all travellers to the USA have to pre-advise their travel plans - normally via an online system, and he had a visa issued earlier in the year

Andrew

[Lking]

prominent Nigerian banker???? This is not Switzerland... That is like calling a mafia crime lord a "respected businessman".

In fact (according to The Washington Post) his father, a Nigerian banker, "told State Department officials that he was worried about his son's radical beliefs and extremist connections".

So much for stereotypes.

[Farelf]

As a regular traveller through Amsterdam I know that the Dutch authorities do all these checks and this guy was flying with a US airline. Indeed, now, all travellers to the USA have to pre-advise their travel plans - normally via an online system, and he had a visa issued earlier in the year

Eek ... worse than I thought then. Airport/airline security (most places) is like a slow-motion train crash.

...So much for stereotypes.

Exactly so - many fathers (regardless of skin colour, religion or nationality) would have hesitated or baulked, this one did 'the right thing' - and still gets slighted. Shame!

[Lking]

Exactly so - many fathers (regardless of skin colour, religion or nationality) would have hesitated or baulked, this one did 'the right thing' - and still gets slighted. Shame!

"Think of what it took for the father, one of the most respected bankers in Nigeria, to walk into the American Embassy and turn in his own son. The father’s a hero. His visit by itself should have been enough to set off all kinds of alarms."

THOMAS H. KEAN, chairman of the 9/11 commission, on Alhaji Umaru Mutallab, whose son is charged with trying to blow up an American jetliner.

[Devilwolf]

Oddly since Xmas - I have only gotten one piece of Nigerian spam.

Even better... before Xmas, I bought 10 option contracts on OSIS (airport security co.) for $200, after Xmas these same options went up in value to $4000.

Thank You Nigeria! You just got me a 40" HDTV.

[Farelf]

Oddly since Xmas - I have only gotten one piece of Nigerian spam.

I currently don't get much of anything but the presently ubiquitous BARRISTER ANDREAW FRASER ESQ. managed to present himself in my intray, assuring me that the insanely wealthy Engr. Juriaan Kugger has managed to bequeath me and an unknown, but doubtless substantial, number of others each the sum of USD$30, 100.000.00. following his sad but hopefully not premature demise. I think I shall be jealous if you were one of those others.

...Thank You Nigeria! You just got me a 40" HDTV.

Excellent, that might tide you over until (or if) you reach the understanding that all the races and nations of mankind need not exist entirely for your benefit. It's a cruel world in an implacably hostile universe, take comfort from it where you can and try not to bleed on the carpet.